Tough

I was thinking lately about the blog and all the things I post. For the most part the things I post are generally happy in nature or positive. We recently had a discussion in my triplet mommy's group about blogs and how sometimes it seems like people try to make their lives appear all rosey and wonderful. They dont show the "real" side of things. It got me thinking about my blog and I realized that I tend to do that. I guess its mainly because I get constantly judged for having triplets and am always hearing how "hard" it must be that I dont want to give the nay sayers the satisfaction of being "right". But when I look back on this blog I want to remember everything. Good, bad, and ugly. And well, since my camera is broke and dont have any cute pictures I had to post something. Har har.

The realty many days is I am exhausted. I have a lot to take care of. Laundry, meals, housecleaning, bills, laundry, and making sure 3 14 month olds and one husband are happy and healthy. Add in house renovations, no time to myself, and financial stress and it does make for some very long and stressful days. I rarely go anywhere and if I attempt to talk on the phone I swear my kids know it and decide at that very moment that their lives are coming to end and they need me RIGHT THEN AND THERE. If I attempt a phone call, I usually try to go on the porch or wait until the sweet darlins are locked in a room. I barely keep in touch with family and friends, usually the blog is the only form of communication.

Then there is the babies themselves. The are, well, babies. They are teething, testing boundaries, exploring new things and foods, fighting over toys, and wanting mommy or daddy at every waking moment. They remind me daily there reach is getting longer and they are getting smarter and more creative. As I type this one of my sweet darlings grabbed my full cup of coffee and dumped it on the floor. Sigh. Once again I am mumbling to myself, never a break. I am in the house pretty much 24/7. I work 13 hours a day, 7 days a week at least. There is never a moment when I do not have a stain, puke, food, poo, or something else on my clothing. I manage a shower everyday but to actually "do" my hair is rare. And make-up, yeah right. My teeth usually get brushed at least once a day. . . usually. One might say take the babies and go to the park or what not. But have you ever attempted to heard 3 toddlers out the door, into carseats, then load the triplet stroller or choo choo, the suitcase that double as a diaper bag, and all the snack cups and sippy's by yourself? Its a lot of work. . . and thats just loading them. Once we get to said park there is the unloading of the triplet stroller, unloading the babies, grabbing the suitcase, then pushing the baby limo through the sand (haha) to the park only to unleash 3 babies that will go in every direction and eat everything in site. Not exactly a relaxing time out. Then there are the new things the babies are "learning" like tantrums and fits. Add in a child that refuses to take a nap unless being rocked and well you get the idea. Exhausted. Many of my triplet momma friends have family, nanny's, sitters, and friends to help them. I have my wonderful husband who does his best to give me a break but in between working a stressful full time job then spending every waking moment doing renovations on the house it does not give him a lot of time to give me a break. I am lucky to have Brittany, my friends teenage daughter and a wonderful mom's helper, who comes for a few hours on Mondays. And my friend Paula who comes for 1/2 day every Wed. and has ever since the babies were about 2 months old. My mom and Dave also comes up often and give me a break too. But thats it. Its not easy to find a babysitter who can handle 3 babies. And because we dont have family close by and rarely see our friends we dont have any close to the babies that knows their schedule and quirks. So not a lot of time for Jeff and I or just for myself.

If you would have asked me a couple of weeks ago how I was doing I would have told you exhausted, stressed, drained, and in need of a break. But, just when you think you cant take anymore relief seems to come. There have been some very stressful times in the past couple weeks, but they have made me realized some very important things. First and foremost my babies are happy and healthy. I am reminded of this everytime we take them somewhere and we hear at least once without fail "what good babies" we have. Secondly, my husband is a Godsend. He is understanding, patient, and a wonderful dad. I am grateful to have him. And last, I need to take care of myself before I can take care of anybody else. So that means asking for help when I need (my absolute least favorite thing to do), taking an afternoon for myself and being confident the Jeff and will babies will be fine, and stop stressing over the small insignificant stuff. So maybe I do have three times the diapers, dishes, laundry, crying, ear aches, theething, and sleep issues. I also have three times the smiles, giggles, chasing, laughing, hugs, kisses, love, and happiness. Things may not always be rosey and easy and probably wont be for a long time, but I am happy and would not change a thing. . . unless that thing was winning the lottery.